Affairs of the Heart, Part II
July 17th, 2010 @ 13:18 | permalink
When I thought I'd calmed down a bit from last Friday I decided to send her an e-mail asking why. Ok, it turned out to be a bit more long winded than that but I felt I had to do it. I sent this at 2311 on Wednesday.
Although everything tells me that I am unlikely to get a reply to this - and indeed I expect it might very well get deleted without reading - I felt that I at least had to write it.
After all our conversations, our text messages I thought we had something. I kept believing that even after the first eight times you broke off the arrangements we had made citing, as you did, various excuses such as illness and work.
All that however crashed down around my ears last Friday evening as I stood outside of the DLR station in Woolwich as we had arranged and slowly came to the realisation as every text message went unanswered and every phone call went straight to voice mail (a sure sign that your phone wasn't even on) that you weren't coming.
I was angry on Friday. Very angry. I felt as if I had been played. Has everything since Easter weekend been a complete lie or was it only later? Why all of this charade? Obviously anything I thought we had is gone. The trust is broken and all I can do is pick up the pieces from where they lie broken and start again. It would be nice however to know if you had any reason for acting as you did.
So maybe I hadn't quite calmed down as much as I though. However bare in mind that before I sent this I had seen that she had once again been online even if we hadn't caught each other... an advantage - or not - of being signed into IM but showing status as invisible. Actually I think I saw her signing off once (and I was showing up as online then) just as I got back to my computer. Keep this in mind as you read the reply I received.
Pardon? how dare you incinuate this... i have not been well at all.. yew my phone was off, and i a so sorry for collapsing and fitting, i will have a go at the fit next time ok.. even my friend was concerned and had the decency to email you and let you know..
Well obvious you think the worse in people, so i guess you do not want to know, well thats fine...
So her response is to guilt trip me into feeling bad because she had been ill. I never received any message (via e-mail, text, voicemail or message left on the site where we met) so wasn't to know and she herself didn't try and contact me afterwards - although it turns out she she is apparently perfectly well enough to be reading and responding to messages at 0300, less than four hours after I'd sent mine.
If I had seen any message then I would have responded with something along the lines of "Sorry to hear that, get well soon blah blah blah" and then waited for her to make contact again as contary to popular belief I'm not a completely cold hearted bitch. If I were in her position and hadn't heard anything in reply I'd have touched base as soon as I felt able to just to make sure the person had received my message.
Now I realise that not everyone thinks the same way I do and that her story might even be true but in my current mood I'm afraid that I have to say that something about it smells.
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